Coming to the rescue

Today in class, I received this text message from Shelley:

"Do you have plans for lunch tomorrow? That girl texting me is a boy! Again!"

It is not unusual for students to get our phone numbers and text us to ask if we can teach them English. We typically try to hang out with same-gender students to avoid "sending the wrong message" which is more important at this stage in our lives (married) than ever before. Today, Shelley was fooled by the asexual nature of text messaging in a second language. This is the second time in 2 weeks that this has happened to her. This is the downside of being the only blonde head in a sea of black. Students see her, find someone whom she has met before, and get her number because they want a foreign friend or want to practice their English. Last week, Shelley was texting a student. They had been texting back and forth for a few days. Finally they found a mutual time to meet up, and Shelley told her she would call when she got out of class. When she called and he answered, she did what all rational people do, promptly hung up. It then dawned on her that even if she wanted to avoid this student, she couldn't because she sticks out on campus like Kim Jong Il at a United Nations summit. So, she promptly called me and asked if I would join her, then called the student back and set up a meeting time. Some guys dream of rescuing their wives from imminent danger. I actually get to live that out. If you consider awkwardness to be imminent danger.

This week, a student starting texting Shelley in English telling her that they got her number from a friend. The student wanted to get together after class for lunch to meet a foreigner. Shelley was really excited, even telling me about her new friend. They were to meet soon for lunch, and then she received this message:

"I must tell you I am a boy and not handsome. It is very kind of you to eat with me. It is very cold outside so wear more clothes and pay attention to winter protection to avoid having a cold!"

This is a very humble culture. You generally don't accept complements here. If someone says "your language is so good", you respond by saying "no, it isn't very good." If they say "you are too kind" you say "no no, it is my duty." Sometimes this cultural humility doesn't translate well. This text message would be one of those situations. Imagine if you introduced yourself to someone like this in America:

"Hey, apparently the boss wants us working together on this national account. Let's meet for coffee tomorrow. The Starbucks on Main Street. I'll bring my notes. Oh by the way, I'm a guy, and I'm pretty ugly. Yeah, that's how you'll know me. I'll be the ugly guy waiting at Starbucks. Oh yeah, and be careful... it's pretty chilly outside."

So my wife has been duped into meeting with dudes for 2 straight weeks. At least this week he made it clear that he carried a Y chromosome, and I'll be joining them for lunch in a few days. Jarred to the rescue again.